Red and Black Cafe

If all of your No Fish, Go Fish pondering has left you feeling anarchistic and alone, make your next stop Red and Black Cafe.

This worker-owned vegan cafe is a haven for radicals and misfits.  Red and Black provides an amazing opportunity to talk with people from all walks of life, from formerly-homeless vegans to war veterans.  It is a great break from Portland’s potential homogeneity, and the place to go if you’re looking to commiserate about police brutality.

Their food isn’t spectacular, but it’s tasty & affordable.  They also host shows and speakers; check out their calendar.

You know you’re the kind of person who would enjoy Red and Black Cafe if…

you have this sign in your front yard.

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No Fish, Go Fish

In a city with so many vegan options, it can be hard for restaurants for distinguish themselves.  There are at least three food carts  dedicated to vegan bowls, two all-vegetarian burger food carts, infinite veg-friendly Thai carts, &c.  But there is only one restaurant specializing in miniature fish-shaped sandwiches that do not actually contain any fish.

If Werner Herzog and Dr. Seuss were to open a restaurant together, it very well might be No Fish, Go Fish on Hawthorne.

Open 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. Monday through Friday, No Fish Go Fish serves a variety of sweet & savory fillings inside of a fish-shaped whole grain casing.  In case the sheer bizarreness doesn’t draw you in, these ichytheological delicacies only cost $1.50 – $2.00.

Why?  Who can say!  Does anything in the world contain inherent meaning?  This is merely one of the existential dilemmas you might be faced with while consuming a fish-shaped sandwich!

The vegan options include mushroom & garlic, olive tapenade, pinto bean & salsa, berry, and apple cinnamon.  The pesce-casing is surprisingly greasy, making these a rather heavy snack.  The savory fishwiches we tried were mediocre (although we couldn’t complain, given the novelty + price).  But, the apple cinnamon was the saving grace.  It tastes like the McDonald’s apple turnover I used to enjoy in my childhood, and for roughly the same price.

No Fish, Go Fish also features a variety of novel soup flavors, such as macaroni & cheese and watermelon gazpacho.  I’ve heard their soups are quite good, but cannot vouch for them myself.

The next time you feel that all of the beautiful mystery has been sucked out of our post-Industrial-capitalist-globalized-corporatist world, head to No Fish, Go Fish and consider its possible etiological implications.

Back to Eden Bakery

The time has come.  I can avoid it no longer.  I’ve put off this post because I’m not sure that my words can to justice to the best baked goods that I have ever masticated (see what I mean?).

Where to begin?  How about with vegan soft serve.  The flavors alternate weekly between vanilla and chocolate, and two house specialty flavors.  They also make their own caramel and berry sauces.  I’m generally not big on frozen desserts, but my ice cream-fiending friend convinced me to give it a try, and I’ve been a regular at their soft-serve happy hour ($1 off M-Th 4-7) ever since.  It’s summertime; go get a large swirled with caramel sauce.  Ooh and they have ice cream punch cards!  Feel productive while you indulge.

Now let’s talk about their cookies.  Rosewater, and butterscotch white chocolate chip are tied for the best cookie I’ve ever had (srsly).

Cookies & ice cream not your thing?  How about rosewater pistachio mini-cake (best cake I’ve ever had!)?  Or strawberry lemon whoopie pies?  Or chocolate coconut cream pie?  Or almond butter fudge!!!

Head on down to Alberta and get yourself some.